


Surprise

by hollimichele



Category: Monsters Inc (2001), Monsters University (2013)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-03
Updated: 2013-07-03
Packaged: 2017-12-17 12:59:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/867809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollimichele/pseuds/hollimichele
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spoilers for Monsters University; set post-Monsters, Inc. </p><p>Mike has a visitor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Surprise

So Mike has an office now, which is neat.

Well, technically it’s his and Sully’s office, and less than a week ago it was Mr. Waternoose’s office, but hey, it’s got a great big carved-wood desk and a smaller desk he requisitioned (he can requisition things now and he actually gets them, that’s another big change). Not to mention it’s got one of those globes that’s actually a drinks cabinet, a bunch of portraits of famous scarers, and a hidden door to a closetful of files on Waternoose’s illegal activities that the CDU cleaned out. Currently it’s holding a box of shredded door.

Mike’s gonna have to find a better place to hide that, though, because it looks like Sully’s going to be spending a lot more time in this office than he is, for the foreseeable future. The Board hasn’t picked a new CEO yet, and Mike and Sully are kind of flying by the seats of their pants, but Mike has a feeling he knows how things are gonna shake out. And his skillset’s the one that’s newly in demand on the scare floor, so that leaves Sully to sort out the paperwork.

The laugh floor, Mike reminds himself. They’re calling it the laugh floor now.

So between the depositions and the retraining (most of which Mike had to make up on the fly) and scaring (heh) up enough laughter to keep the city running, this is the first time Mike’s been alone in his new office for ten minutes together. So of course that’s when he hears the tap-tap of a cane and the click-click of claws in the hallway outside.

“Dean Hardscrabble,” Mike says. “Good to see you, hello, come on in. You’ve got a great sense of dramatic timing, anyone ever tell you that?”

“On occasion,” the Dean says. She looks good-- the cane is new, and she doesn’t move as smoothly as she used to, and okay, maybe there’s a little more leatheriness happening than there was in Mike’s memory. But she’s no less intimidating for all that. No less scary. It’s just that scary isn’t the commodity it used to be.

Literally, even. Mike’s broker had a conniption fit at him over the phone this morning.

“So, uh, how’ve you been?” Mike asks, because he’s a nervous talker, always has been. “How’s the old alma mater? I haven’t really been keeping up with the alumni newsletter, I have to admit, and I never seem to get invited to the reunions, which, you know, I’d feel a little hurt, but...”

“But you never actually graduated, and thus are not, in fact, an alumnus,” the Dean finishes.

“Right. That.”

“You have, however, kept your word,” the Dean notes. Mike rifles through his memory, tries to recall what word, exactly, the Dean is referring to. Coulrophobia? No, that’s fear of clowns. Huh. It occurs to him that they should probably keep an eye out for that, considering the effect they’re trying to have on human kids from now on. He’s got a notebook somewhere in his new desk that he’d better write that down on--

But the Dean is still looking expectantly at him, and he realizes that a very small smile is lurking at the corners of her mouth. She’s screwing with him! She is totally, totally screwing with him. Well, two can play at that game, and he, thanks very much, is a grandmaster at it.

“What word is that, exactly? I mean, I know an awful lot of words. Hey, I just learned a new one, actually, maybe you’ll like it-- _Schadenfreude_. Turns out the funny words have a lot more variety than the scary words, which all tend to end in -phobia. But you knew that.”

“I did. And the word in question is _surprise_.”

Sure, he remembers. How could he forget? He thought he’d kept that promise, too, until Sully turned up with Boo and turned the world upside down. Turns out it’s even possible to surprise himself, and he and Sully and Boo, between them, have thoroughly surprised the Board and the rest of the company and definitely, definitely Mr. Waternoose. So surprising the Dean shouldn’t feel like as much of an accomplishment as it does.

“So, uh, is it a good surprise or a bad surprise?” Mike asks.

“I’m not sure. They’re talking about closing down the College of Scaring, you know. Launching a School of Comedy to take its place.”

“They’re gonna-- aw, but they can’t do that! Close down the College? That’s terrible! You gotta believe me, Sully and me would never want that.”

“They’re also talking about having to reengineer the scream canisters to hold a hundredfold the energy. So I think this particular change may be inevitable.”

“Aw, jeez,” Mike says. “That’s a real shame. I’m sorry about that. What are you going to do?”

“What I must,” says the Dean. “There are polite noises being put forth about retirement, but that’s all a lot of nonsense. I shall adapt, or die trying. I’m not too old to improvise.”

“Improv’s a key skill, in comedy, you know,” Mike says.

“I am aware,” the Dean replies, dry as dust, and Mike realizes something.

“You have a sense of humor, don’t you? Like, a very dry wit, maybe not the kind of stuff that gets them rolling in the aisles, but still-- funny.”

“Don’t tell anyone,” she says solemnly. “In comedy, as in scaring, there’s another key element. I’m sure you know what it is.”

“Sure do,” says Mike, and they both smile, a little, at their own private joke.

“There may be a couple of honorary degrees, for you and for Mr. Sullivan, that shake loose when all is said and done,” the Dean says. “If I have any pull at all left with the trustees, I’ll be pulling for that. Now, I’m sure you have a great deal of work to do, Mr. Wazowski. I won’t keep you from it any longer.” And with that she’s gone, tap-tap and click-click down the hall.

“Huh.” says Mike, and that’s how Sully finds him, a little while later, looking thoughtful.

“Buddy, it’s quitting time and then some. What are you still doing here?” he asks.

“Nothing major,” says Mike. “Some paperwork. Had a surprise visitor.”

“Good surprise or bad surprise?” Sully asks.

“I’ll tell you about it on the way home,” says Mike, and lets Sully usher him out of their office.


End file.
